


I  Knew From the start we'd be best friends

by frominsideacomputer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: F/M, M/M, There's a character death, but not in that way, but not really, it's like a will, or a death note, pinof is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 09:33:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3687207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frominsideacomputer/pseuds/frominsideacomputer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the near future, it's kinda self explanatory</p>
            </blockquote>





	I  Knew From the start we'd be best friends

_I always thought you’d be at my wedding, I always thought you’d be my best man._  
_Then I thought you’d be too busy to be my best man because you’d be too busy marrying me._  
_I always thought I’d never lose you. That we’d remain best friends. And we did, for a while at least._  
_You moved out, it wasn’t like anything happened between us. We just went our own ways. I found a passion in writing and you have a prime time radio show._  
_I would tune in, sometimes, usually if I had writers block, thinking about everything we did together gave me inspiration for so many things._  
_  
Then, of course, you met her and she was so perfect for you. You’d planned a December wedding and everything was looking good. I was writing a best man speech, it seemed like nothing would get in the way of this._

_But you had the accident, nothing fatal, just a broken leg and a couple of broken ribs. The wedding was postponed until January, and by Christmas you were healed._

_You still had to be careful, and doing too much meant you’d hurt yourself, your lungs weren’t particulary strong anyway, so it wasn’t like you’d do too much exercise. We never did anything sporty, unless you count Just Dance, but I remember when we bought those expensive running shoes and went for that one run. Never again though._

_The wedding was all set for January, and you were raring to go. I had finished my best man’s speech, and we’d met up a couple of times before the wedding._  
_It was all going so well, until I had a bit too much to drink on the stag night, I didn’t drive home, but got a taxi back. But then I fell down the stairs and landed on a hard tiled floor._  
_Rushed to hospital in an ambulance with Louise who was staying so she could get a lift to the ceremony._  
  
_Broken back and a burst artery, plus broken ribs and a punctured lung. I was barely alive for so long, the doctors were sure I was going to die. They didn’t think I knew but I did. I could feel my body giving in, giving up to the damage._  
_You did come to visit me in hospital, it was so nice seeing you, but you didn’t see me properly, you saw me on one of my better days, I made sure of that._  
_So now I write this, knowing that I’m going to die soon. I can feel the life in me disappearing and everything I am fading._  
_If you’re reading this, I’m dead. lol. Sorry, I spend so much time on the internet now, I don’t know what my sense of humour is anymore. I don’t really know what anything is anymore._

_But it’s true. Unless by some miracle, I’ve pulled through. But I doubt I will._

_I won’t I love you, even though I do, because you would never be able to love me back anymore._

_So here’s to the past ten years. Thank you for being my best friend and the other half of our infamous duo._

_Thank you for being my greatest adventure._

_Thank you AmazingPhil_

_Thank you.”_

No one had called him AmazingPhil in god knows how long. The last person must have been Dan, lying in his hospital bed, attached to drips by clear tubes, his face pale and gaunt and wearing only a hospital gown, which slovenly hung off his skeletal frame.   
That wasn’t how he wanted to remember Dan. He wanted to remember the smiling, attractive, ‘emo fringed’ YouTuber and author he’d become best friends with ten years ago.   
As Phil sat and thought about his time spent in the flats in Manchester and London, a smile grew on his tear stained face.   
He thought about all the videos they made together: the days in the life; the photo booth challenge; the gaming videos; Dil Howellter, their sim offspring; and of course, Philisnotonfire 1 - 7.   
He thought about VidCon and Playlist Live, Summer in the City and Reading Festival, The Brit and Teen Awards, the book and tour.   
And Phil thought about all the times when Dan had hit rock bottom, and Phil had always been there to try and pick him up. He thought about all the time when he’d been the one at rock bottom, and how Dan had been there to pick him up.   
  
Now he had Marie, his wife to be, who was there for him and he was there for her, but it was different to Dan. He’d lived with Dan for longer, known him for longer and he had been his best and closest friend.

As Phil put the letter back in the envelope, he spotted something in there he hadn’t seen earlier. Pulling it out, he found a bunch of photos, printed on to nice paper, which comments on the back in Dan’s handwriting.   
Flicking through them, Phil saw a photo of Dan staring lovingly at Phil, during one of the gaming videos; the comment on the back read _‘Heart Eyes Howell’_ – a long running joke about how Dan used to take long looks at Phil.  
Another photo showed a section from the punk edits video, from the end, Dan’s comment said _‘3punk5eva’_  
Then another seven photos, each from Philisnotonfire, 1 through 7. Turning the first one over, he read  _‘I knew from the start we’d be best friends.’_  
Looking at the next one, he read ‘ _One year later and I had a best friend for the first time in my life.’_  
Phil Is Not On Fire 3 was next, this was the first and only one in their Manchester apartment. Dan’s messy scrawl on the back said. ‘ _I still remember the day you asked me to live with you_.’  
Then came Phil Is Not On Fire 4, the London flat, and the one they’d stayed in longest and up until Phil had moved out. Phil wasn’t there anymore, he and Marie lived in a small house in London, but nowhere near the old flat. Dan’s comment read, ‘ _and I remember when I began to fall in love with you.”_  
The comment on Phil Is Not On Fire 5 said  _‘I hoped you’d fallen in love with me.”_  
On Phil Is Not On Fire 6, Dan seemed to be getting tired, his handwriting was messier, and Phil, could tell it was when he wasn’t doing well at all in hospital. But despite all this, there was a still something  _‘and I really thought you had.’_  
Then came Phil Is Not On Fire 7, the last one, a week before Phil moved out. The last time Phil got to wake up finding Dan still awake or asleep in his sofa crease, which he missed, but – at the time – he said he liked the change, but after a while he had realised that he really did miss Dan. The final comment on the back read ‘ _but it turns out it was all an illusion.’  
_ After reading the final comment of the photos, Phil realised that he had been crying, tears dropped into his lap. He did think he’d been in love with Dan, once maybe, but it was never true. He didn’t think that there had been in anything between them, except a strong friendship.

But now looking back, Phil realised that he had been in love with Dan.

And now there was nothing he could do.

Because Dan was gone.

And he was never coming back.


End file.
